PY’s Secret Beau

PY not so secret love life

Looks like everything seemed right for PY when she clinched the award for Best Supporting Female Actress on the Oscars and her cameo appearance on popular kids program "Magic School Bus" last month. Rumors of PY having a guy in her life were dismissed when her spokesperson released a statement last week. However fellow friend Salty accidentally let slip of her tongue when she said, “She don’t need us when she got her boy with her.”

Following that, our paparazzi, Ribena, caught PY with a member from the famous boy band “Choir boys” walking along the streets of Jurong holding hands.

“When I picked up the phone for her yesterday, I thought it was a girl but it was just Alan from Choir Boys,” said fellow celebrity friend JX on the phone.

Looks like it’s about time PY comes out and dissolve these rumors.

JXHK’s Rock Smashing Premiere
Ben crashes the set of JXHK’s talkshow in a moment of excitement

The premiere of Reality TV Superstar couple JXHK’s new talk show, “Chatterbox”, had a groundbreaking start last night. The duo brought in celebrity couple Bennah Wee and after discussing about their recent Oscar win and their lives as a newly married couple, Ben aka the Rock (from the "Bombastic Four") damaged an expensive sofa set shipped in from Milan Italy, when he jumped heartily on the sofa after talking about how he met his lovely wife Nana. Both JXHK and the crowd were caught off guard by his sudden spurt of excitement. The sofa split in the middle and caved into two separate portions under Ben’s immense weight. After reeling back from shock, the producers of “Chatterbox” rushed onto stage and replace damaged sofa with two foldable plastic chairs. Ben blushed and apologized profusely for the damage incurred before saying his trademark line from his hit movie “Bombastic Four”, ‘its Rock and Roll Time!’ to lighten up the atmosphere. Despite all the commotion, after Nana’s arrival on set, Ben toned down and sat quietly on his foldable chair with his hands pressed onto the chair, lifting his buttock off the seat in hope of not spoiling another furniture on set. After a five minute commercial interval, Bennah Wee rocked the house with a live performance of their no1 hit single “Collarshirt Gal”.

The much-raved about act by Ben sets “Chatterbox” off to a promising start, with its premiere episode being no.1 on the primetime slot for TV.


PY Hops on the Magic School Bus

PY does cameo voice over in Scholastic Pre School Program

Oscar Best Supporting Actress PY Chong has been invited by the producers of Scholastic’s "Magic School Bus" to do a voice-over as a cameo character on the hit show for preschoolers. She would be the voice behind Ms.Frizzle’s cousin, Ms.Fuzzle, who would appear in a special 1-hour episode titled ‘Bacterium – Friend or Foe?’, which has been instilled by the producers to teach kids all over the world about the dangers of recent contagious diseases like SARS and the Avian Flu.

Ms.Fuzzle would go onto the episode aiding Ms.Frizzle and her students by taking the wheel behind the magic school bus, as well as disinfecting them every now and then with Dettol soap to make sure they stay germ-free.PY’s voice will be digitally-enhanced to reach a higher, much more nasal notch, for her to complement her role as Ms.Fuzzle. Dettol Soap and disinfectant is the main sponsor for this special episode.

Delightful Close-Up
An interview with Best Female Lead Salty.

Last Sunday evening, we witnessed ex “Life as a Budding Potatoh” actress Salty Toh’s ascension to the ranks of the A-listers when she received her first Trashcan as Best Female Lead for her groundbreaking role in the award winning film “Chronicles of Narnia: The Turkey, The Xmas Tree and The Wardrobe”.

YAWP’s very own reporter, Lucy Aslan, met up with the 20 year old award winner to talk about her thoughts and emotions being the youngest actress to receive such a prestigious award.

Lucy A.: Hi, how are you, Salty?

Salty: Okay, loh. A bit tired, lah… (Laughs weakly).

Lucy A.: Don’t worry, your face doesn’t look tired at all. In fact, it’s glowing with radiance! Must be the effect of receiving your first, and hopefully not the last Trashcan last Sunday isn’t it?

Salty: Choy, choy, CHOYYY! (Starts slapping her palms ferociously on the wooden table) Aiyo, you don’t curse me la! (Picks up her cup and drinks “3 in 1” Golden Owl Brand, Kopi O, and slams the cup angrily back onto the table and shouts) I SAY NO SHUGAR RIGHT?! AND WHERE’S MY BER-GAL?!

Lucy A.: Ooh, getting a little diva-ish aren’t we?

Salty: (She gave a ferocious Khomala’s Stare at me)

Lucy A.: Sorry, it was just a joke. (Smiles feebly as I wipe pearls of freezing cold sweat off my luo han forehead.) Anyway, back on a happier note, Congratulations on your big win at the Oscars! Best female lead…Tell us, were you expecting to win the award that evening?

Salty: Eh, thank you, lah. Actually, I was expecting to win also, because the other nominees (Nana Wee as ‘Invisible Girl’, JX as ‘Sailormoon’) didn’t act as well as I did what. My role as delightful turkey requires me to sit motionlessly there for many hours on the dining table, you know?

Lucy A.: Oh yeah, I saw your performance and yes it sure looked like hard work! So how did you go about preparing yourself for this role as the Turkish Delight?!

Salty: Hmm, (scratches her blonde lion mane) I had to under go a 4 hour full body make up regime everyday and its so uncomfortable underneath those feathers and body husk, OK! I kept on sneezing and Su-tan has to keep retouching my makeup and my dropping feathers. It was tough work…

Lucy A.: Oh I see. You look like you lost much weight after all that work. So what are your plans for your future now that you’ve caught the attention of the world?

Salty: (takes in a deep breath and places hands akimbo-style on waist) You sure not? Don’t bluff leh. Okay, lah, I also think I a bit skinnier than last time, lah. And hmm… I’m also not sure about my plans… (Twirls hair with a finger as she stares off into blank space) But I think a musical Broadway show is coming up for me as well as a reality TV series and maybe I’m thinking of going back into TV or also maybe cut an album… Aiya don’t know lah. See how first loh…

Lucy A.: Wow! And you said you weren’t sure? Looks like we’ll be seeing a lot of you in the future!

Salty: Hopefully, lah. (Prays silently ‘Amitabha’) Later end up like my budding potatoh show… I acted so many episodes they only air a few then scraped it. I was so sad, you know? Stay home and cried for 3 days 3 nights! And okay, eat also…

Lucy A.: Oh yeah! What happened to your show “Life as a Budding Potatoh”? It was scraped shortly during the second season due to low viewerships and poor ratings, right?! So how are you with the original cast of the show?

Salty: Yeah la! Those were the days okay! Me and my 90210 gang had so much fun together! Of course, we fought and quarreled and sometimes I cry in the toilet, lah. But we always forgive and forget. I love all of them, and I want to give a shout out to all of them right now! (Does an incomprehensible war cry, and pounded the wooden table ferociously)

Lucy A.: OK! So good luck with your future endeavors!

Salty: Future Animals?! What?!

Reality Bites Back
Reality TV Stars bite a huge chunk off the awards pie at Oscars this year

It was a night of glitz and glamour for the gathered masses of this year’s most celebrated faces, both on the TV and silver screen, as well as the musical scene. The lines of trademark Oscar the Grouch trashcan trophies (made from 100% stainless steel courtesy of Sesame Street Productions ©) sparkled and glowed under the spotlights as Reality TV emerge as the biggest winners, with its stars sweeping the awards, quite literally, into their own personal trashcan collection.

Reality TV’s favorite couple Bennah Wee’s "Newly-Wees" Reality TV show was another hot favorite with the audiences but JXHK’s “A Fame Life” outdid them in popularity to emerge the winners of Best Reality TV Series. After going up onto stage to receive that award, JX and HK lived up to their reputation of being funny 24/7 by sending the audiences into stitches whenever they return to accept subsequent new awards, all the while continuing the appreciation speech they started, but could not complete on the first Trashcan.

It was a close fight till the end in determining who the Best Film of 2005 was. However underdog, actress Salty, claimed multiple awards for her film “Chronicles of Narnia: The Turkey, The Xmas Tree and the Wardrobe” for both Best Female Lead and Best Film. Beating off close competitor “Hairy Porter and He Gobble Up Fire”, CON:TXW was also the most expensive film made to date. Raking up to an approximate US$5416million, with a huge portion of the budget going into hiring international furniture franchise IKEA to produce the most impressive wardrobe ever seen. PY received the award of Best Supporting Female Actress for her role as Princess Pat-Me Armadillo in “Starwars Episode I: Sailormoon Fights Back”.

Newlywed pop duo Bennah Wee was crowned the Pop Royalties of 2005 with two new awards under their belts: Best Newcomer and Best song. Hot favorites of the night, the “Choirboys”, walked home with a disappointing note leaving the auditorium with only one trashcan, Best Original Score for a Movie (Original winners F4 couldn’t turn up for the award ceremony due to a miscommunication and misunderstanding of the date of award ceremony.).

The highlight of the award show last night was the opening act by newly wed celebrity couple Bennah Wee, performing their award winning single “Collarshirt Gal”, costumes sponsored by local brand Hang 10. Other performances also include more tracks from Bennah Wee’s latest album, including a love song penned by Ben himself for his beloved wife Nana, titled Rich Gal (Nanana) featuring JXHK.

The night also paid tribute to eighties legendary musical icons “Niang Zi and her Golden Peonies” for their efforts and contributions to the music industry of today. However only one out of the legendary four turned up last evening for the award ceremony with the other three members either dead, alive or locked up in an old folks home. Niang Zi the lead singer of the quartet came in her pyjamas to accept her Honorary Award but aroused a major disturbance when she insisted that Tyren Tan was her long lost Xiang Gong of ten years. The evening ended off in pandemonium as Niang Zi was pulled off stage and put to sleep behind stage (not death but just merely tucked into bed). Things look promising for rising young stars JXHK and the Oscars only goes to prove that the world should watch out for their every move come 2006.

Movie Reviews

Hairy Porter and he Gobble up Fire

After word got out that Daniel Radcliffe is no longer interested in carrying on his breakout role as the teenage magic wielding cape crusader of Hogwarts last year, everyone thought that would mean the end of the famous Harry Potter movie series. The series which made Daniel an international name, hit a disappointing low at the box office with the last movie, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

The producers of the famous movie series then dropped the hormonal raging Daniel and went in search for the new Harry Potter, saying they are going to give the franchise a whole new look with a new actor replacing Daniel. Soon rumors of famous child stars like Kim Possible’s sidekick Ron stoppable and Corey Lopez, who plays Carlos from Barney, were touted to be the most likely candidates for the famous franchise.

However fans of the franchise were shocked and disappointed to know that their fictitious teenage hero is going to be replaced by Reality TV superstar HK after watching the movie’s teaser trailer last spring.

The new movie starring newcomer Reality TV star HK is a darker and more intense version of the original movie. This movie takes off one year after Goblet of Fire. It shows a scruffier and older Hairy Porter after undergoing intense puberty changes after the last movie. It lets the viewers see, for the first time, what lies underneath the messy mane and truly understands Hairy for the first time. He is no longer an innocent broom stick rider as before, as this film sees Hairy progressing to the next level of Quidditch – riding a mop. Hairy is also now all grown up and ready to make his own decisions to find out who he really is. An emotional and darker take of the original show makes this unsuitable for children under the age of 16.

Bombastic Four

A romantic comedy about four high school friends with super powers trying to lead a normal life, after getting involved in a freak accident involving a leakage in a nuclear plant on one of their school excursions. Ben, who has the ability to transform into a huge rock, has a crush on the cheerleader Nana, who has the ability to be invisible. Starring celebrity couple Bennah Wee as Ben and Nana, they are set to make sparks fly and crash the box office on its premier. The most memorable and heart wrenching moment of the film is when they can’t find each other when they are playing hide and seek in a rock garden. It was said to bring pearls of tears rolling down the audiences’ rosy cheeks every time they watch that part. Famous Taiwanese boy band F4 guest starred as foreign exchange students who have mutant abilities to put people to sleep whenever they sing. They sang the OST of this movie. Looks like ‘it’s rock and roll time!’ (in the words of Ben the Rock) at the box office for the Bombastic Four.

Starwars Episode I: Sailormoon Fights Back

An epic inter-galactic space battle between the heroic Captain Honey Stars, played by Teddy Lilo Lulu, the sexy Sailormoon, played by Reality TV star JX, and the Black Hole, Gracie Grossman’s mouth. It is the first part of 3 movies to come. It will be in a not too distant future where humans are living on the moon and they are in constant search for a new planet for humans to live on. A female sailor from the moon aka Sailormoon, who is empowered with superhuman abilities by Princess Pat-Me Armadillo of the Moon Harbour City, is sent to fight the Black Hole that is sucking everything into itself. Together she will join forces with galaxy defender of the ‘tastiest stars in the universe!’, Captain Honey Stars, to fight the insatiable appetite of the Black Hole. This is JX’s breakout movie role after her reality TV debut with HK. They are now working on individual movie projects and now she is paired up with HK’s best friend, Lilo Lulu, for this highly anticipated film of the year. This is also Grossman’s first movie debut after a long hiatus from her famous child star days on TV as “Double Chin”. PY, playing Princess Pat-Me Armadillo, was chosen for the role after impressing the producers at castings with her remarkable “Patting” skills. Boy band “Choirboys” performed the OST of the movie, humming out the entire 12-tracks classical symphony making up the album.

This movie has a 2 minute after credit moment where they theorize that it is physically impossible for a cow to jump over the moon.


Chronicles of Narnia: The Turkey, the Xmas Tree and the Wardrobe

CON.TXW is a suspenseful thriller that promises to keep you on the edges of your seats till the very last minute. Set in post World War I period, it chronicles the ups and downs of a struggling poor family who has a family pet turkey, played by ex soap opera actress Salty, and how they get ready for the coldest Christmas of all time. They will also reveal how the Christmas tree came about, and the dirty secrets the family has in their dusty wardrobe – a priceless family heirloom which the poor, struggling family mysteriously refused to sell even during their hardest times. Based on the famous novel of the same name, the film version of CON.TXW has a slightly different take on the story, giving it a more sinister feel to it compared to its predecessor. This is Salty’s first big screen attempt after her flop TV series and it is promised to take the world by storm with her amazing portrayal of the house turkey named, Delight. Victoria’s Secret supermodel, Ow Yong aka Gem of the Orient, was selected to play Edmund, the young boy of the family, because of his uncanny resemblance to the book’s portrayal of a starving and skinny adolescent. Stay till the end of the movie to watch a five minute scene which will raise more questions than answers in your mind about the show.

Gala Premiere Of YawpYawp

Famous Faces All Around

Today marks the first issue of Yawp to hit stands worldwide and famous celebrities are gathered together in Anchorage for its gala premiere. Celebrities like local songbird PY, soap star Salty, famous singing duo Bennah Wee, Reality TV stars JXHK and many more are present to witness the uncasing of the first issue of Yawp. Yawp promises to bring the latest and juiciest news in Hollymood to every reader in the world.

The name Yawp originated from a native tongue and meant "Kaypo Kings and Queens" in modern day language. However word has been spreading around that people find the word Yawp threatening as it sounded like and may suggest, to the young and naive, incessant barbaric swearing of words.

Despite all the bad press around the magazine, the debut was a major success with a record of 156421copies sold per minute, making it one of the best selling and most widely read magazine in 15451 different languages in the world.