Delightful Close-Up
An interview with Best Female Lead Salty.

Last Sunday evening, we witnessed ex “Life as a Budding Potatoh” actress Salty Toh’s ascension to the ranks of the A-listers when she received her first Trashcan as Best Female Lead for her groundbreaking role in the award winning film “Chronicles of Narnia: The Turkey, The Xmas Tree and The Wardrobe”.

YAWP’s very own reporter, Lucy Aslan, met up with the 20 year old award winner to talk about her thoughts and emotions being the youngest actress to receive such a prestigious award.

Lucy A.: Hi, how are you, Salty?

Salty: Okay, loh. A bit tired, lah… (Laughs weakly).

Lucy A.: Don’t worry, your face doesn’t look tired at all. In fact, it’s glowing with radiance! Must be the effect of receiving your first, and hopefully not the last Trashcan last Sunday isn’t it?

Salty: Choy, choy, CHOYYY! (Starts slapping her palms ferociously on the wooden table) Aiyo, you don’t curse me la! (Picks up her cup and drinks “3 in 1” Golden Owl Brand, Kopi O, and slams the cup angrily back onto the table and shouts) I SAY NO SHUGAR RIGHT?! AND WHERE’S MY BER-GAL?!

Lucy A.: Ooh, getting a little diva-ish aren’t we?

Salty: (She gave a ferocious Khomala’s Stare at me)

Lucy A.: Sorry, it was just a joke. (Smiles feebly as I wipe pearls of freezing cold sweat off my luo han forehead.) Anyway, back on a happier note, Congratulations on your big win at the Oscars! Best female lead…Tell us, were you expecting to win the award that evening?

Salty: Eh, thank you, lah. Actually, I was expecting to win also, because the other nominees (Nana Wee as ‘Invisible Girl’, JX as ‘Sailormoon’) didn’t act as well as I did what. My role as delightful turkey requires me to sit motionlessly there for many hours on the dining table, you know?

Lucy A.: Oh yeah, I saw your performance and yes it sure looked like hard work! So how did you go about preparing yourself for this role as the Turkish Delight?!

Salty: Hmm, (scratches her blonde lion mane) I had to under go a 4 hour full body make up regime everyday and its so uncomfortable underneath those feathers and body husk, OK! I kept on sneezing and Su-tan has to keep retouching my makeup and my dropping feathers. It was tough work…

Lucy A.: Oh I see. You look like you lost much weight after all that work. So what are your plans for your future now that you’ve caught the attention of the world?

Salty: (takes in a deep breath and places hands akimbo-style on waist) You sure not? Don’t bluff leh. Okay, lah, I also think I a bit skinnier than last time, lah. And hmm… I’m also not sure about my plans… (Twirls hair with a finger as she stares off into blank space) But I think a musical Broadway show is coming up for me as well as a reality TV series and maybe I’m thinking of going back into TV or also maybe cut an album… Aiya don’t know lah. See how first loh…

Lucy A.: Wow! And you said you weren’t sure? Looks like we’ll be seeing a lot of you in the future!

Salty: Hopefully, lah. (Prays silently ‘Amitabha’) Later end up like my budding potatoh show… I acted so many episodes they only air a few then scraped it. I was so sad, you know? Stay home and cried for 3 days 3 nights! And okay, eat also…

Lucy A.: Oh yeah! What happened to your show “Life as a Budding Potatoh”? It was scraped shortly during the second season due to low viewerships and poor ratings, right?! So how are you with the original cast of the show?

Salty: Yeah la! Those were the days okay! Me and my 90210 gang had so much fun together! Of course, we fought and quarreled and sometimes I cry in the toilet, lah. But we always forgive and forget. I love all of them, and I want to give a shout out to all of them right now! (Does an incomprehensible war cry, and pounded the wooden table ferociously)

Lucy A.: OK! So good luck with your future endeavors!

Salty: Future Animals?! What?!