Ex Bachelor Is Now Scandalous Blogger

Braxilian Waxer Lax On Censorship

After a year of staying under the radar, Yanginaldo Pistachio aka Sleeping Beauty is back creating headlines with a new endorsement deal and his scandalous and much talked about self-titled blog of 2007, www.freakymonster.blogspot.com. The famous Brazilian still-life portrait model and once heir of the Pistachio nuts empire, Nutty Professor, created waves last July when he claimed the title of the "Most Photogenic" bachelor at YAWP's Most Eligible Bachelors Swimsuit Edition 2006. After that fateful night, the exotic Brazilian beauty was named, "Snort! Grunt! Oink!" which basically means "Sleeping Beauty" in Brazilian, for his signature and breathtaking shots of him sleeping.

After the controversial debut and the sudden declaration of his bankruptcy last July, this broke Brazilian still-life model then decided to step out of the spotlight and be a traditional Brazilian waxer by day, and a scandalous blogger by night. His blog, Solstice, named after a phenomenon that happens only twice a year, is now No.1 at the 'Most Visited Blogs in the World' charts (commonly known as MVB) after his recent close-to-the-heart article on the 'Top 10 ways of surviving Brazilian Waxing'.


However, the reknown Brazilian waxer had received nothing but offensive comments regarding his blog.

Crude and offensive messages like "Ur blog suck like a black hole!" and "$%&#@!" were flooding the tag board faster than the water rising in your bathtub. Harsh comments from "Hello" - the unnamed person behind all the vulgarities and mean comments - consistently appeared on Yanginaldo's tag board like a game of tag. The Brazilian authorities has now eliminated all crude words and vulgar comments, leaving only nice, affectionate ones like the "hi i like u" message from an anonymous fan, most likely a secret lover of the reknown Brazilian waxer. The person wished to be known only as "Anonymous".

When approached, "Anonymous" refused to comment on the recent scandalous remarks made about Freaky Monster, but just carried on repeating "I like u" over and over again like a spoilt tape.


Be it a hotspot for spam or not, Solstice will always be a controversial and read-worthy blog to the public.



Despite all the bad press recently regarding his chart topping blog, the Brazilian waxer is now the new face for a local delight, Hum Chim Peng. "He was a god send! AMITABAH! When we first saw him last year on Bachelor edition, his unique face shape stood out like a salty flavoured Hum Chim Peng with sesame seeds on the sides. Not too salty and too seedy, just nice," said the spokesperson before savouring his very own piece of "Salty Salty Hum Chim Peng". The once heir of the pistachio empire, Nutty Professor, is now new face of the "Salty Salty Hum Chim Peng", look out for more news updates and ways to win a year supply of Hum Chim Pengs in the next few editions of YAWP.


EXCLUSIVE!

Exclusive contest only for YAWP readers! Everyone's favourite waxer Yanginaldo recently got signed on by the 'Hum Chim Peng' (salted fried dough cakes) company, due to the uncanny resemblance in his face shape and the Hum Chim Peng! We have an exclusive contest to celebrate his new endorsement just for you! (click on image for larger view)

Movie Reviews: Ghost Rider


The Rider Who Was Too Materialistic






Johnny Blaze (HK Lim) had it all: a happy family, a good career, a nice girl friend, but he was one who was never contented with what he has. On the under side of the world (literally, hell) satan was looking for a new bounty hunter to capture two of his most notorious souls, Casper 1 and 2 (played by newcomers Tarzan and Sandals) who had escaped into the human world with satan's private motorbikes.

Using Johnny's weak spot for materialistic wants, satan then manifested before him and offered him the latest Daytona Motorcyle. Of course, the catch would be that he sell his soul to satan himself and becomes his bounty hunter. And so, Johnny agreed, blinded by the beautiful red motorcycle, but he soon regrets his decision. He now rides between the living and the dead, fire burning on his hair, being satan's personal slave. Things take a worse turn when Casper 1 and 2 starts coming after his life, before he gets to theirs first.
Mature actor HK plays Blaze's role to perfection, and word has it that he was on a strict no-meat cabbage diet for 2 months in preparation for the movie shootings, just so he could sit and ride in the naturally petite-sized Daytona Motorcycle. Worthy mention goes to new faces Tarzan and Sandals for equally competent portrayals as the villains. Tarzan also sheds his clothes in his debut performance 'Ghost Rider', for a scene where his character, Casper
1 rode through a hurricane which blew his clothes away.

Fans of SFX and CGI would be happy to hear that the fire ablaze on HK's head in the show look 'so real you would be tempted to roast marshmellows in it', in the words of the director.

Ghost Rider is now showing in all theatres, rated R-21 (some frightening scenes and nudity).

SWEET VALENTINE

Celebrity launches own cupcake franchise this Valentine's

First it was reality TV, then it was a singing career, next it was a film-directing pursuit. Just how many directions would JX, one-half of iconic duo JXHK, head towards in a year? The latest muse of this multi-talented celebrity seems to be something more domestically-inclined - her own chain of cupcakes, 'Little Red Riding Cupcakes', which was officially out for sale this Valentine's.

A typical basket of Little Red Riding Cupcakes consist of rainbow-sprinkled cupcakes, nutella cupcakes, as well as icing worded alternatives. JX revealed that each basket would consist of two cupcakes with nutella fillings barely enough to feed a termite. "Sometimes you bring a basket of cupcakes to work on Valentine's, wanting to share with your friends, and then some greedy colleagues whom you don't like comes up to you wanting one too. That's when the itsy-bitsy nutella cupcakes come in handy,' JX explained, slicing open a cake to reveal its petty drop of nutella measuring only 0.01cm in diameter.

For the face behind the cupcakes, JX was looking for somebody 'sweet, young and bouncy' to show the fun, flirty nature of her cute cupcakes. 'When I thought to myself the criterias for the spokesperson of my cupcakes, I immediately knew who would fit the role like a T. And that is none other than Hem Khoon!' JX said with a chuckle. Indeed, JX had decided to use close acquaintance HK to be the new face of Little Red Riding Cupcakes.

Donning a scarlett red Espirt jacket and Victoria Secret's newest range of lingerie shorts which can be worn both at home and outside, HK was the perfect image for JX's cupcakes. Ask what was the difference between doing a photoshoot for the cupcake poster compared to his other fashion shoots, HK giggled and replied, 'Oh this is very different! I have to tone down the hussy image, because cupcakes are also for the younger girls. So its more of like a sweet little smile now than my signature pout!'

'But of course, you can't take out all the sexiness, so I did a flirty little prance with some really delicate hand movements, and the outcome of the photoshoot was genius! I love it!' HK added with a wink.



Little Red Riding Cupcakes are out on sale at all major bakeries. First 100 customers would recieve a free cupcake poster with HK's kiss-lip mark.

Enemy Of The State

HK Gets Controversial

After appearing as a special guest on radio yesterday, Reality TV star turned fashionista HK has received nothing but bad criticism from the public. Listeners tuning in on the daily 3pm radio broadcast yesterday, regarding his recent short 2 weeks experience being a Hubber at local enterprise "Hubberfront", was bothed alarmed and disappointed with the controversial celebrity. The station received millions of smses and phone calls regarding the issue, although some were sympathetic towards the celebrity, however many more were more aggressively trying to get him off air.

"Xiao Di (for those who are not very linguistically inclined, it just basically mean "little brother" in chinese) this is what normal people call work! An immature spoilt brat like you wouldn't understand the lives of a normal peasant!" an sms from a very angry listener who only wished to be known as Ah Pek.

The producers of the show, after receiving multiple brutal responses from the public, had no choice but to remove the famous celebrity off the air as they were threatening to boycott the radio station if they were to carry on with the show with the reality TV star any longer.

While HK was suffering from verbal abuse from the general public, the other half of the celebrity couple, JX, on the other hand was suffering from verbal diarrhoea as she is picking up french lessons to get ready for her break into the french fashion scene. "All diarrhoea! All diarrhoea! (Hors d oeuvre, meaning appetizer in French)" shouted JX as she pointed excitedly on the menu at "Delifrance" wearing a tee shirt from fashion label 'Jara' with "Little Miss Loud Mouth" printed across her back.

JXHK's New Venture

Couple Creates New Album

Reality TV celebrity couple JXHK are currently in the studios recording tracks for their upcoming new album. After venturing from the small screen to the big screen with an amazing string of blockbuster hits like the recent hit "Man In The Facial Mask" as well as release of multiple bestsellers, the power couple are now trying to carve their way into the music industry. With the help of best friends and singer, PY and the Bennah Wees, the upcoming album is set to top the charts.

The pair has been busy penning down songs for the album, and is also rumoured to draw inspirations from their, not to happy, Hubber days. They have also released a few song titles and lyrics to the public over their official website. With songs like "Hang up" and "Mr PangSai", they clearly are reflecting their unglorifying days as Hubbers. However there are songs that are closer to the heart like "My Lumps".

The album has yet to have an official release date but with big names like them, it is bound to go down the musical history.

"Mr PangSai"

I was slacking around
and i've been doing jus fine
gotta gotta hold on
bcos the pope's around
it was only a piss
how did it end up like this?
it was only a piss it was only a piss.

"Hang Up"

Time goes by so slowly
time goes by so slowly

everytime it rings i dunnoe what to do
i hang up i hang up on u
i wanna go to the toilet
for another short break
i stood up and walk off with u!

ring ring ring goes the telephone
the line is on but me not saying hello
tick tick tock its a quarter to nine
and i'm done
i'm so going home!

"This Ain't A Sin, Its Our Own Way"

This ain't a sin, it's our goddamned own way
This ain't a sin, it's our goddamned own way
This ain't a sin, it's our goddamned own way
I'm not a Hubber who goes on
To be the best

I'm a Hubber man
And the calls i get are all so difficult,
Oh so difficult
Du Du Du DU DUUUU...
[x2]

"My Lumps"

I bought this yesterday see
Fits me really nicely
Cheryl says it makes me skinny
I dont know about this till I,
Go home to my mama,
Go home ask my mama (mama).
Ask my mama,
Go home ask my mama
And I put on my new jeans,
And I see my lumps.

My lumps, my lumps my lumps my lumps!
My lumps, my lumps my lumps,
All that fat little lumps,
In the back, in the front
Freaked me out!

Sam I am: What you gonna do with all that lump, all that lump behind your bum?
I'ma get, get, get, get it off
Get it off my lovely bum
Sam I am: What you gonna do with all that flesh, all that flesh behind your ass?
I'ma run, run, run, run if off at the new treadmill, new treadmillllll!

JX Undergoes Therapy

JX, half of the much talked about celebrity couple JXHK more so than Brangelina and Posh and Becks, was seen undergoing therapy most likely for her recent disappointing drop off the Hubberfront label. Retail therapy seemed to be her way of dealing with the sudden loss of a job as she is seen walking along the streets of sunny Bugis to nicely decorated Chinatown with her friends. However the other half HK was no where to be seen around the celebrity as she was trying out her new Topshop blouse and "Little Miss Bossy" top. The singer turned fashion designer then met up with a close celebrity friend, Hannah from the recently finished season of "Wee can cook". The latter then bought a traditional chinese costume for her long time beau commonly known as Fatty Ben as she was strolling on the streets of Chinatown laughing away and drinking from her sugarcane drink. Although the couple, JXHK, is now currently unemployed, word has it that they are going to use the recent unemployement as inspiration for their upcoming 2nd album following up their outstanding debut with disney classics like 'Cinderellee' and many more. Stay tuned for more news of their album.

Hubber No More

Its finally true. After weeks of speculation and no one to dismiss the rumours, the Reality TV power couple's spokesperson has finally stepped out and made a public statement regarding the rumours of JXHK being let go of their new endorsement with Hubberfront. The short 2 month contract lasted for a mere 2 weeks as the couple are said to be having problems with balancing their hectic schedules. "After signing up with them it was nothing but work and work," said JX over the phone while eating on her specially imported from Japan ultra salty seaweeds. "We've always wanted to quit so after days of thinking it over, we just came to a common decision to jus pay off the penalty and quit," she said before putting another into her mouth.

However, word of them being let go by the company was also rumoured to be true. The company's spokesperson who wishes to be publicly known as "The Pope" was quoted as saying the celebrity couple as "immature" and also went to the extend of calling them names like "Ah Sia Kia" (a common hokkien dialect word to describe people to be major slackers) and "Troublesome".

Well looks like its going to be another rumour left unanswered but one thing is for sure though, the couple are now Hubbers no more.