Playboy's New Bunny

Rose's "Megajin" Debut

Ex prom queen Rose is once again stepping back into the limelight with his post corrective plastic surgery figure. Rose, as he is commonly known as, has recently signed a whooping $1424531million dollars with iconic label, Playboy, to be their new spokesperson.

The controversial star, who commented openly for his love for plastic surgery, not only appeared on the cover of the latest issue of 'Playboy' but also has a 32 page photo spread of the star in different color bathing suits. The issue also, for the first time, comes with a life size cardboard stand of the valedictorian prom queen.

"Suckesahhh! Throw away the megajin! Don't like the picture!" exclaimed the shy and once humanitarian prom queen, as he carried on staring at himself on the issue of the magazine with adoration in his eyes.

The uprising star, who is also the first of many male celebrities to use his maiden name as a stage name, joined heiress Pairis Hilton and Justin Timberleg when he coined a new catch phrase "SUCKSAHHH!" was also recently added into the 'Guinness World of Book Records' for 'Having the most number of hair pins stuck in the hair and still look beautiful' record with an amazing 451352 hair pins placed on one head.

The ex prom queen, who once went round the globe to do humanitarion works after his crowning glory of being prom queen of 1996, looked as stunning and beautiful as ever despite recently undergoing corrective surgery for his infamous boob job. He also revealed that he is going to release his first album with "True Colors" being his first single and it is going to be released in 145132different languages to cater to his huge international fan base 'Rose Butts'. He offered to have a live performance of his single but after 15mins, 'Show me your true colors' seemed to be the one and only line. Step aside JXHK as Rose is set for world domination.

Rose's debut album 'Rosie Pom PiPi' is set for a summer release and this month's issues of 'Plaboy' are out in stores now.

Rose Fills Up 'H' Cups!

Plastic Surgery Gone Wrong

Valedictorian Prom Queen of 1996 Rose Cmon Chew is growing out of proportions after a recent visit to an anonymous plastic surgeon. After having a 23 page photo spread on "Playboy" magazine, word has it that the ex prom queen has recently lost a major role in an upcoming summer blockbuster sequel, "Big Momma's Titties 2" after experiencing a boob job gone wrong. When asked about his unfortunate experience at improving his vivacious body, he just bluntly exclaimed, "SUCKSAAA!" before punching and slapping his long term girlfriend Huat Myer on her arm and flashing his mega watt smile.

Rose is curently seeeking medical attention for his larger than life bossoms and is refusing to comment on the identity of the surgeon who "worked" on him. However, despite having an unfortunate first experience on plastic surgery, the recently named 2007's Rising Star is still keen on improving his looks. "I very hamsome but if got chance will go make my teeth," exclaimed the ex prom queen. His long time girlfriend and daughter of the infamous 90210 gang, Huat, also revealed that Rose is currently keen to meet up with the less than fortunate girl from the 'Quit--Smoking-Or-You'll-Look-Like-Me Campaign' to join him in their conquest to look better than before.

Although Rose might have lost his lead role in "Big Momma Titties 2", it is rumoured that he will be starring alongside Sean William Scott in the next "Dukes of Hazzard" movie called "Dudes of Hazzard" as the double D, Daisy Dude, a cross dresser with hazzardous silicon breasts that explodes upon impact. The once prom queen seemed set to be the next Superstar.

Reality Star Enters Rehab

JX Seeks Professional Help

Famed Reality TV star JX has recently declared that she has an addiction and it is none other than alcohol. After savouring the delicious chocolate flavoured alcoholic drink on best friend HK's 21st birthday party last month, the once world reknown Bollywood film producer has been drinking ever since. She has been found attending multiple parties drinking and eating non stop at the buffet table.

Her last appearance before admitting to her addiction was when she went to the Garden themed birthday party dressed as a Pest Control Worker holding a can of pesticide on one hand and alcohol on the other. The drunk fashion designer sprayed pesticide at anyone dressed as a butterfly or any form of insect shouting, "COCKROACH!" in the loudest most femine voice ever.

After her embarassing appearance at the party, she decided that she needed to seek professional help in quitting the addiction and is now admitting herself in the prestigious rehab facility in Hollywood, "Loser". The famed institution housed more than 12345million celebrities each year and assures every individuual that they will lose their addictions and walk out of the place with a loser certificate to certify their soberness.

Celebrity friends and fans of the Reality TV star gathered both outside and inside of the facility to show care and support for her.

HK Bares It All

Superstar discarding old image along with his clothes

Unwavering spotlight upon him for months since he first stepped into the industry, multi-talented celebrity HK has once again created a new wave of rave about him, this time for his most recent image - one which showed more skin than ever. HK is touted to be following in the footsteps of pop princesses Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera back in their younger days, where they exchanged their all sugar and spice personas for the sex siren image.

Having worked with personal trainers Sandals and Tarzan (acquaintances made onset of Ghost Rider, who played ‘Casper 1 and 2’) religiously for the past few months without fail, HK seemed to have been planning to surprise the public with his ‘flesh-baring’ antic. Upon their initial meeting, HK had no idea his co-stars were famous gym gurus and on-off life partners, the TarSan, whose achievements included selling millions of exercise home videos worldwide, “TarSan Can Lift Weights, So Can You!”. The pair amazed HK when he saw their skinny frames onset of ‘Ghost Rider’ for the first time, and after giving him countless tips on how to work out for maximum results, TarSan decided to take HK under his wings and train with him regularly at their gym, Passion for the Passionate People (membership to be a Passionate is available at http://www.i-am-passionate.com/. The first 50 early birds to sign up will receive a complimentary Passion Fruit smoothie shake, whilst promotion last).

2 months after he first begun with his new gym instructors, HK has significantly lost weight and body mass, earning in return new biceps, triceps and his new friendship with Tarzan and Sandals. Today saw HK debuting his new look, dressed by the outfit retailer New Urban Male, who has recently signed him on as their official spokesperson. “I’m very happy with my newfound muscles,’ said HK at the press conference. ‘I’m also very glad to represent NUM, although I had a bit of a problem during the clothes tryout process for today’s conference.’ HK was referring to an earlier incident of wardrobe malfunction when he tried on NUM’s initial set of planned outfit for him – a tight white Canada vest. “White is so not my color,” HK continued with a small laugh when asked about the incident. “I knew it was wrong immediately when I wore it, and that's why I changed into the red piece instead."
However, an insider who refused to be named told this reporter that HK had abandoned the initial white Canada outfit because it was 'so small and tight he looked like he's bursting at the seams'. He also mentioned that HK was reluctant to come out from the dressing room, draping himself with the curtains on the doors and throwing a huge diva din about it not being tailored made for his size.

"That's all nonsense," HK said with a laugh, when he was asked to verify the validity of the unname source. "I just prefer the red HongKong outfit for two reasons. One, HongKong's initial is the same as my name, HK, and second and most important of all, red brings out my beautiful rosy cheeks like no other colors can!"

Ex Bachelor Is Now Scandalous Blogger

Braxilian Waxer Lax On Censorship

After a year of staying under the radar, Yanginaldo Pistachio aka Sleeping Beauty is back creating headlines with a new endorsement deal and his scandalous and much talked about self-titled blog of 2007, www.freakymonster.blogspot.com. The famous Brazilian still-life portrait model and once heir of the Pistachio nuts empire, Nutty Professor, created waves last July when he claimed the title of the "Most Photogenic" bachelor at YAWP's Most Eligible Bachelors Swimsuit Edition 2006. After that fateful night, the exotic Brazilian beauty was named, "Snort! Grunt! Oink!" which basically means "Sleeping Beauty" in Brazilian, for his signature and breathtaking shots of him sleeping.

After the controversial debut and the sudden declaration of his bankruptcy last July, this broke Brazilian still-life model then decided to step out of the spotlight and be a traditional Brazilian waxer by day, and a scandalous blogger by night. His blog, Solstice, named after a phenomenon that happens only twice a year, is now No.1 at the 'Most Visited Blogs in the World' charts (commonly known as MVB) after his recent close-to-the-heart article on the 'Top 10 ways of surviving Brazilian Waxing'.


However, the reknown Brazilian waxer had received nothing but offensive comments regarding his blog.

Crude and offensive messages like "Ur blog suck like a black hole!" and "$%&#@!" were flooding the tag board faster than the water rising in your bathtub. Harsh comments from "Hello" - the unnamed person behind all the vulgarities and mean comments - consistently appeared on Yanginaldo's tag board like a game of tag. The Brazilian authorities has now eliminated all crude words and vulgar comments, leaving only nice, affectionate ones like the "hi i like u" message from an anonymous fan, most likely a secret lover of the reknown Brazilian waxer. The person wished to be known only as "Anonymous".

When approached, "Anonymous" refused to comment on the recent scandalous remarks made about Freaky Monster, but just carried on repeating "I like u" over and over again like a spoilt tape.


Be it a hotspot for spam or not, Solstice will always be a controversial and read-worthy blog to the public.



Despite all the bad press recently regarding his chart topping blog, the Brazilian waxer is now the new face for a local delight, Hum Chim Peng. "He was a god send! AMITABAH! When we first saw him last year on Bachelor edition, his unique face shape stood out like a salty flavoured Hum Chim Peng with sesame seeds on the sides. Not too salty and too seedy, just nice," said the spokesperson before savouring his very own piece of "Salty Salty Hum Chim Peng". The once heir of the pistachio empire, Nutty Professor, is now new face of the "Salty Salty Hum Chim Peng", look out for more news updates and ways to win a year supply of Hum Chim Pengs in the next few editions of YAWP.


EXCLUSIVE!

Exclusive contest only for YAWP readers! Everyone's favourite waxer Yanginaldo recently got signed on by the 'Hum Chim Peng' (salted fried dough cakes) company, due to the uncanny resemblance in his face shape and the Hum Chim Peng! We have an exclusive contest to celebrate his new endorsement just for you! (click on image for larger view)

Movie Reviews: Ghost Rider


The Rider Who Was Too Materialistic






Johnny Blaze (HK Lim) had it all: a happy family, a good career, a nice girl friend, but he was one who was never contented with what he has. On the under side of the world (literally, hell) satan was looking for a new bounty hunter to capture two of his most notorious souls, Casper 1 and 2 (played by newcomers Tarzan and Sandals) who had escaped into the human world with satan's private motorbikes.

Using Johnny's weak spot for materialistic wants, satan then manifested before him and offered him the latest Daytona Motorcyle. Of course, the catch would be that he sell his soul to satan himself and becomes his bounty hunter. And so, Johnny agreed, blinded by the beautiful red motorcycle, but he soon regrets his decision. He now rides between the living and the dead, fire burning on his hair, being satan's personal slave. Things take a worse turn when Casper 1 and 2 starts coming after his life, before he gets to theirs first.
Mature actor HK plays Blaze's role to perfection, and word has it that he was on a strict no-meat cabbage diet for 2 months in preparation for the movie shootings, just so he could sit and ride in the naturally petite-sized Daytona Motorcycle. Worthy mention goes to new faces Tarzan and Sandals for equally competent portrayals as the villains. Tarzan also sheds his clothes in his debut performance 'Ghost Rider', for a scene where his character, Casper
1 rode through a hurricane which blew his clothes away.

Fans of SFX and CGI would be happy to hear that the fire ablaze on HK's head in the show look 'so real you would be tempted to roast marshmellows in it', in the words of the director.

Ghost Rider is now showing in all theatres, rated R-21 (some frightening scenes and nudity).

SWEET VALENTINE

Celebrity launches own cupcake franchise this Valentine's

First it was reality TV, then it was a singing career, next it was a film-directing pursuit. Just how many directions would JX, one-half of iconic duo JXHK, head towards in a year? The latest muse of this multi-talented celebrity seems to be something more domestically-inclined - her own chain of cupcakes, 'Little Red Riding Cupcakes', which was officially out for sale this Valentine's.

A typical basket of Little Red Riding Cupcakes consist of rainbow-sprinkled cupcakes, nutella cupcakes, as well as icing worded alternatives. JX revealed that each basket would consist of two cupcakes with nutella fillings barely enough to feed a termite. "Sometimes you bring a basket of cupcakes to work on Valentine's, wanting to share with your friends, and then some greedy colleagues whom you don't like comes up to you wanting one too. That's when the itsy-bitsy nutella cupcakes come in handy,' JX explained, slicing open a cake to reveal its petty drop of nutella measuring only 0.01cm in diameter.

For the face behind the cupcakes, JX was looking for somebody 'sweet, young and bouncy' to show the fun, flirty nature of her cute cupcakes. 'When I thought to myself the criterias for the spokesperson of my cupcakes, I immediately knew who would fit the role like a T. And that is none other than Hem Khoon!' JX said with a chuckle. Indeed, JX had decided to use close acquaintance HK to be the new face of Little Red Riding Cupcakes.

Donning a scarlett red Espirt jacket and Victoria Secret's newest range of lingerie shorts which can be worn both at home and outside, HK was the perfect image for JX's cupcakes. Ask what was the difference between doing a photoshoot for the cupcake poster compared to his other fashion shoots, HK giggled and replied, 'Oh this is very different! I have to tone down the hussy image, because cupcakes are also for the younger girls. So its more of like a sweet little smile now than my signature pout!'

'But of course, you can't take out all the sexiness, so I did a flirty little prance with some really delicate hand movements, and the outcome of the photoshoot was genius! I love it!' HK added with a wink.



Little Red Riding Cupcakes are out on sale at all major bakeries. First 100 customers would recieve a free cupcake poster with HK's kiss-lip mark.

Enemy Of The State

HK Gets Controversial

After appearing as a special guest on radio yesterday, Reality TV star turned fashionista HK has received nothing but bad criticism from the public. Listeners tuning in on the daily 3pm radio broadcast yesterday, regarding his recent short 2 weeks experience being a Hubber at local enterprise "Hubberfront", was bothed alarmed and disappointed with the controversial celebrity. The station received millions of smses and phone calls regarding the issue, although some were sympathetic towards the celebrity, however many more were more aggressively trying to get him off air.

"Xiao Di (for those who are not very linguistically inclined, it just basically mean "little brother" in chinese) this is what normal people call work! An immature spoilt brat like you wouldn't understand the lives of a normal peasant!" an sms from a very angry listener who only wished to be known as Ah Pek.

The producers of the show, after receiving multiple brutal responses from the public, had no choice but to remove the famous celebrity off the air as they were threatening to boycott the radio station if they were to carry on with the show with the reality TV star any longer.

While HK was suffering from verbal abuse from the general public, the other half of the celebrity couple, JX, on the other hand was suffering from verbal diarrhoea as she is picking up french lessons to get ready for her break into the french fashion scene. "All diarrhoea! All diarrhoea! (Hors d oeuvre, meaning appetizer in French)" shouted JX as she pointed excitedly on the menu at "Delifrance" wearing a tee shirt from fashion label 'Jara' with "Little Miss Loud Mouth" printed across her back.